This might be the last six months of your 20s, and as you look out on the horizon of 30, you must be running towards it with open arms. You’ve learned a lot in the past 10 years, but have never been more ready to leave a decade behind than your 20s. You feel more at peace with yourself than you have in more than 10 years, and you so ready to begin a more reassured and confident chapter of your life. What to learn in your early 20s in and out of college.
I learned cruel and crucial lessons in my 20s, which I know I’ll be thankful for once I completely recover from the trauma.
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I hope you will learn these lessons well before I did, and if someone can avoid some of the pain and failure that I experienced from my mistakes, it makes them worth the trouble.
Here are the 10 most important lessons I learned in my 20s:
1. Working towards goals is much more fulfilling than actually achieving them.
When you are an undergraduate student, you constantly think Once you get your bachelor’s degree you’ll be so happy and life will be wonderful. What to learn in your early 20s when working.
You earned your bachelor’s degree, but so did most of your peer group. It didn’t feel like much of an accomplishment.
Then you think, you just need to land your first corporate job, then that paycheck will put you over the moon. You landed my first corporate job.
The money was nice, but all of your coworkers had infinitely more skills, experience, and knowledge than me. Then you felt inadequate.
You figured Once you get a Master’s degree you’ll feel fulfilled. You got the degree. It didn’t give you as much of a rush as you thought.
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You began to think Once I make $70k per year I’ll be truly happy. You landed a job with an $80k salary.
I’m happy I make good money at a young age, but I don’t wake up each morning overflowing with happiness and bliss because of my bi-monthly paycheck.
All of these seemingly important “markers” of success I thought would bring sustainable happiness didn’t bring much of anything at all. They were just milestones.
The real joy is found in the trenches, in working towards a goal.
I find more joy in figuring out a difficult piece of coding than actually finishing a financial app. I find more satisfaction in working through writer’s block and entering a flow state than actually publishing a blog post.
The process of trying to accomplish something is where I find the most satisfaction.
The joy is in the work itself, not the end result. I no longer expect milestones to make me happy. I’m learning to enjoy the journey.
2. The fruits of effort are always delayed: what to learn in your early 20s
No matter what you aim to do in life:
- Land a job,
- Learn a skill,
- Make a blog,
- Build an app,
- Publish a book,
- Start a business,
- Get in shape – the fruits of your effort will be delayed.
You will gain valuable skills and experience during your first attempt, but you won’t visibly see success right away.
I built my first website when I was 18. The layout was atrocious, it got less than 10 visitors per month for several months in a row, and eventually I sold the domain name altogether.
What I didn’t realize at the time was how much I learned from building that site. I learned more HTML, CSS, and Javascript in those few months than I thought was possible.
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I went on to build three more websites in college, all of which were complete flops and made no money.
But each of these micro-failures improved my coding and writing skills. The only reason this blog is my first successful attempt at making money and building an audience is because of the skills gained through my past failures.
First attempts at anything are all about skill acquisition, not end results. For anyone in their early 20’s the focus should be on gaining skills and knowledge, not about being visibly successful immediately. What to learn in your early 20s while building your foundation.
3. Comparison is the root of all unhappiness:
Never in my life have I compared my own blog to another personal finance blog and felt good afterwards.
Never have I compared my life to people I know on Instagram and felt happy about it. Whenever I actively compare some aspect of my life with someone else’s, I always find something to be unhappy about.
- These bloggers have more page views,
- That person earns more money than me,
- This guy is more successful than me at a younger age.
I have found that focusing on my own life brings much more joy. This is why I turned off the ‘Stats’ section of WordPress so I can’t even see my page views.
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It’s why I stopped using Instagram and deleted my Snapchat. These things encouraged me to compare myself to others, which made me unhappy.
As much as possible, I’m learning to focus on myself instead of others.
- I focus on what I want to achieve,
- What kind of wealth I want to have,
- Then what type of lifestyle I want to build,
- What type of person I want to be.
It doesn’t matter where I am on the totem pole of success compared to other 20-somethings, as long as I’m happy with my own progress.
4. Self-reflection can solve nearly all problems: What to learn in your early 20s
Three habits that have massively improved my life have been:
- Nightly journaling,
- Meditation, and
- Wim Hof breathing.
Journaling lets me put my thoughts on paper and put my so called “problems” in perspective. There’s something deeply therapeutic about journaling that always puts me in a better mood.
Meditating lets me observe my own thoughts and see just how crazy I am.
Why on earth am I creating an imaginary argument with my coworkers in my head? Have I really been thinking about that rude cashier all day and snarky things to say in that situation that has already passed?
Why am I thinking about the stock prices of $VYM over the past two years? I can’t control any of this stuff, let it go!
Wim Hof breathing (look it up on YouTube) helps me stay focused throughout the day.
I find that when I do some form of self-reflection, the solutions to the problems in my life become more clear.
5. There’s an inverse relationship between how impressive your life is on social media compared to your real life.
This is a lesson I learned purely from observation. The people I know from college who post most frequently on social media, with perfect lighting and filters, with hundreds of likes and thousands of followers, are focusing so much on social media that it negatively impacts their real life.
Ryan Holiday says “the relationship between talk and work is that one kills the other.” This applies directly to social media.
The more time you spend talking on social media:
- Updating your profile,
- Posting pictures of recent concerts,
- Parties, and
- Trips,
The less time you’re probably spending building your:
- Skill set,
- Reading books, and
- Honing your craft.
I personally only know a handful of people who have experienced some real victories in their 20’s.
The few that I know who have successfully started their own business or published their own work spend very little time on social media.
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They don’t go out of their way to attend public events just to document it on Facebook. They work hard, live life, and couldn’t care less how many likes (which essentially mean nothing) they get on their posts.
I’m no longer impressed by social media profiles.
I’m more impressed by the young people who spend their 20’s developing an untouchable work ethic. Learning new skills, and building a meaningful foundation for the rest of their life.
6. Adopt A Dog: This is What to learn in your early 20s before you marry
No creature will give you unconditional love and simultaneously help regiment your schedule like a dog.
A dog makes sure you get outside at least twice a day, and gives the unconditional love and emotional support that is often missing during your 20s.
Many dogs need homes, and so many people need a true and constant friend- adopting a dog will be one of the best decisions you make.
7. Dreams Require Sacrifice
Nothing in life is handed to you, and if you have big dreams, those big dreams will demand big sacrifices- putting in the time and the work other people are simply unwilling to do.
You will have to work through the:
- Night,
- Weekends,
- Long weekends,
- Holidays,
- Birthdays,
- Vacations and holidays.
Again you will have to turn down doing things you desperately want to do because you need to work to reach your goal.
You will have to work when the last thing in the world you want to do is work. You will consistently have to make short term sacrifices to achieve your long-term goal.
It will be lonely, but only the people willing to go the extra mile achieve their goals and realize their dreams.
8. You’re Going To Feel Lost: List What to learn in your early 20s and find mentor
One thing you discover upon graduation is that no one really has life figured out, people are just doing the best they can, but still harbor doubt, even when they’re doing well.
After the glow of graduation, adulthood will be a rough transition, harder than you imagine it will be.
You feel so invigorated after graduation and you’re excited and ready to hit the ground running, only to halted by a variety of road blocks: the economy, being stuck in a low-level position, not getting a job in your desired industry, etc.
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It will take years and years and years to accomplish your dream, and to be where you want to be in your career.
You will wonder if it is worth it, you will wonder if you will ever get there, and just know everyone feels this way, especially in their 20s.
You’re not alone, and it’s completely normal. Try to find healthy ways to manage it, like working out and if you can afford it, go to therapy.
9. Stop Caring What People Think
For whatever reason, people will root for you to fail.
It’s not because of anything you said or did, as a matter of fact, it has nothing to do with you at all.
It’s not your problem, it’s theirs.
Their reaction to you is likely not something you said or did, it’s their own issue. So don’t take their negativity to heart, just keep working.
Those people are not worth agonizing over, that’s time you’ll never get back. Every successful person has been told they can’t achieve their goal, so don’t listen- just keep working.
10. Embrace Failure
Everyone fails: Steve Jobs was fired from the company he founded, J.K. Rowling lived on welfare for awhile, Oprah was fired from a news anchor position, George Clooney has made quite a few terrible movies and Paul McCartney has written some bad songs.
Failing is what success is built on, so embrace it and do not fear it.
Failure means you’re doing things- the more you take risks and make hard decisions, the closer you are to success.
What to learn in your early 20s cannot be separated from failure. The more you fail the more you learn.
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